Aska Soto

A fiery young woman who often acts before she thinks

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They say that there are two types of evil people, one who commits the monstrous acts, an one who sees it and does nothing. This is why I’m damned.

I grew up with a father who would hurt my brother and I. He would beat us, humiliate us and he violate us. He made us swear that if we told a souls he would kill us. Or a worse threat, he would kill the other and make us watch. I lived in fear but my brother was always the strong one. He would always stick up for me when the neighbor kids would pick on me. We would make up games together and worlds together. We made up a game called the shadow children where we would wake up around 3am and sneak around the house,getting snack, jumping on the furniture and doing all the fun things that normal kids would do except we did it in silence. When we heard one of Father move or russle we would run back. It was what we most looked forward to when things got bad. We would look at eachother and know that no matter what, we would stil have the good part of our day.

One night I woke up to a crash. My father had stumbled into my room. He reeked of alcohol.

“Aska!!! A lady from the state payed me a visit at work today. She says she is to interview this family to see if I am a fit parent. You little Bitch. How dare you dishonor my name. There are ways to hurt you that won’t leave bruises. I will make sure you never speak out against me again.”

He unbuckled his pants.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my brother with a knife. He sneaks into our room like a shadow child. He plunges the knife into fathers side. Father reels back and takes the knife out of his side.
“Aska did not do it. I did. We are leaving to a new home!”

A 9 year old does not have the strength of a 35 year old man.

I watched as my brother was stabbed to death.

The act sobered my father up. He panicked. He told me that if I told anyone what happened he would kill me and dispose of my body just as he would do to Brother.

The police came and interviewed me. I stayed silent. Brother was right though we were to be moved to a new house. Maybe that’s where his bravery came from. The hope that soon we would be okay. The police could not find any evidence of my dads crime because he had planted the body in our neighbors yard. I was made to tell a story about our neighbor. A lie to save my life.

Years went by and the guilt of knowing the truth but valuing my life more started to weigh on me. I would dream of him. My Brother. My protector. It wasn’t until I started seeing him in crowds that I began to question my worth as a human.

On Oct 25th I took my life. I was 19 years old. I was flooded with visions of Him that I had to make them stop.

My hell looked like my Childhood home. My punishment? No matter what I did I could never save my brother. I knew the story I knew how it ended but I could never stop it. Id get close sometimes but it never was to any avail. Sometimes I would even be the one who stabbed him. I couldn’t save him, so I might as well killed him myself.

I was pulled out of that world. I was given another change to act, to do things I could not have done in my mortal life.

I choose to live now but there’s the darkness inside that wants the world to burn.

I guess sometimes the darkness must be let out to let the light in

Aska Soto

Kindred of the East: the Song of Lanterns ReenaLolita